Saturday, October 09, 2004

The US War on Weddings Continues

Yet another wedding is bombed out. It's become so cliche, so having-had.

I guess bombing funerals would be redundant. And Baptisms and Bar/bat Mitzvahs? Hardly fair! When life is just starting! So many apple-cheeked children, blushing under the doting aunt's pinches!

Sure, it's a pre-emptive war, and I'm told some marriages should never have happened. But it seems rude to point this out by exploding the wedding party.

Even so, if we're in this with the whole hypothalamus, why focus on weddings? There are so many other things to pre-emptively bomb. Like junior high school dances. The salon where Michael Beschloss gets that monochromatic dye-job. Harvard. Cat shows. The next Alanis Morissette album.

Maybe the wedding-bombings are just Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz acting out against their wives. Do you really think Cheney loves the woman who gave us the refrain, "Dick did not"? Which I'm convinced, by the way, is a sentence containing a second verb by implied self-reference. I don't think Cheney has a sense of humor about that.

And so, the the wedding bombings continue.

No comments: