John Edwards was found dead in the underbrush at the side of I-89 in Indiana this morning, by hitchhikers. Edwards had been missing for 3 weeks -- at least, he hasn't been seen by the American people that long.
Just kidding. He's probably still alive out there somewhere. He may as well have been dead by the side of a road for the better part of a month, for all the campaigning we've been seeing him do. It's beyond ridiculous, and if he doesn't get out there NOW and start stretching the vocal chords, he can sit next to Lieberman at the nomination convention as another in a series of failed VP candidates who didn't pull their weight during a campaign they could have made a difference in.
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