TimesSelect: Good for You, Good for the Country

Now that the NY Times is charging $50/yr to read all their OpEd columnists, there are a couple of obvious reasons I love it.

1) We all suddenly have an extra free hour in the morning. I've taken up more studious grooming habits, which benefits my social relationships. Long term dental care is expected to improve nationwide.
2) Mental health providers have reported a 20% decline in repoted situational depression since TimesSelect started. No longer are there masses of rational, intelligent people reading Krugman and realizing just how screwed we all really are.
3) Couples in the 24-38 year age-bracket are reporting more satisfying lovemaking, as their minds no longer wander during sex toward the possibility that it is they who David Brooks is refering to as "BoBos".
4) Without Nicholas Kristof single-handedly calling attention otherwise ignorable mass human crimes, like the genocide in Darfur or the horrendous treatment of women in Pakistan, we can look forward to cocktail parties discussing real estate prices and our parent's health. Oh, and the weather. Let's not forget the weather.
5) Frank Rich's well-reasoned and comprehensive arguments on all subjects have made us a nation of lazy thinkers. Now, we will be forced to sit down and spend 3-4 days each week writing our own biting critiques of the latest social and political ills, which will dramatically improve our expository skills.


Yes, friends, we can all look forward to the day when the question might once again be asked in earnest, "Who the hell is Maureen Dowd?"