In these wicked times, being born in California is not sufficient to earn one American citizen status -- or, rather, it's not suffiicient to protect you from having that status stripped from you, summarily.
On my trip to Goddard Space Flight Center -- a NASA installation at Greenbelt Maryland, where I was scheduled to give a talk -- I was instructed by my hosts to tell the guards at the gate that I was a foreign national. It seems, because I accepted an appointment at a Montreal, Canada university, they can no longer treat me like the born-in-San-Leandro-educated-by-California-public-education guy that I am. Never mind my US Passport and US citizenship, and the fact that I don't have citizenship in any other country. Never mind that my father's father's father was born 50 miles from my childhood home. Never mind that I love hot dogs, apple pie (disclaimer: I own a Subaru -- but it appears that my model was made in the USA).
So, I did what any red-blooded American would do. I refused to state that I was a foreign national. I handed the guards my American Passport as identification. I've seen NORTH BY NORTHWEST. We all know how the story will go after you say you aren't an American: Syrian guards sweep in from stage right and left, toss you onto a Gulfstream, and next thing you know, somebody claiming to be from Egypt is holding a cattle prod above you, muttering angrily about the soles of your shoes being too dense. Try explaining it was a bureaucratic snafu, mistaken identity, and next thing you know, you're hanging from Jefferson's nose, being shot at by a crop duster in an Illinois cornfield.
So, now the guards have a problem: they have me down as a foreign national on their list, I refuse to go along. The resolution as enacted was simple: they hand me an ID badge to get me on-base which says that I'm a foreign national, and that's it. We all know I'm not, but, hey, it's procedure. I bristle. If you are an American living abroad, you are now going to be treated as if you were a foriegn national for security purposes.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
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2 comments:
FYI, Subaru is partly owned (20%) by GM, which would explain why it is made in the US
That's as American as anything, but that apple pie and hot dog you're eating might not be made in the US since Sara Lee (who apparently is the world's largest packaged meats company) likes to produce their products along the Mexican side of the US border with that country.
Sure, laugh as they drag me into a Turkish prison.
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