Bush Names National Intelligence Director

At 10am today.

Apparently, it's someone named Jeff Gannon ? Bush said: "With a myriad of experience in operating clandestine operations, Jeff --- who Karl's known for years, and tells me he's a really great man -- enjoys outstanding and mutually pleasurable relations with 3 of the 4 military branches, the CIA, the FBI -- seems like everybody in government's had him." Bush pointed out that "the National Intelligence Director's salary of $265,000 just about covered Gannon's usual $1200/night rate." Among Gannon's first duties: give everyone in national intelligence operations "a good, red-cheeked spanking."